Terrifying Tuesdays

Close to a year ago, on a Tuesday, on my way to work I experienced severe chest pains -- sternum compression, shortness of breath, waves of pain down my left shoulder, arm and then the back, followed by nausea. Instantly, I concluded that I was having a heart attack, so I gradually pulled over along a shoulder on Highway 101S and rolled the window for fresh air.

Still in pain I reached for my mobile, but my unsteady hand dropped it on the floor. Trying to fish it with my foot only slid it farther from reach, under the car seat. Any physical movement only exacerbated the pain.

Helplessly I sat there, hoping the terrible episode would pass quickly; regrets of life flashed before me; scowling victims of my wayward ways peered at me, waging fingers. Oh my God, I murmured, this is it: The fabled protracted seconds before the final moment, when the bright light blinds you, followed by the void of darkness that absorbs you.

Moments of agony finally subsided -- 10 minutes had seemed hours -- and I drove straight to Palo Alto Medical Emergency Clinic. The ER staff rushed me in, ran the usual tests for a suspected heart attack. At the end of the ordeal, the ER doctor said it was an anxiety attack; a panic attack spurred because of extreme emotional stress.

Yesterday, another Tuesday, on my way to work, I was hit by an oncoming, speeding SUV as I turned left into Stevenson Blvd, just a block from where I live in Fremont. My BMW took the brunt of the impact, and now appears not salvageable. Luckily, I walked away unscathed, except a minor left wrist burn from the dispensed airbag that grazed my hand. Had I been in another smaller, less sturdy vehicle, there is no telling what the impact might have done to me and the car.

Incidents that rattle your life humble you; they force ajar windows of reflection; and they render life in perspective: what matters, what's important, what to cherish.

Yesterday's Terrifying Tuesday's was a siren song as much as last year's. If anything both ought to sum up a lesson: heed to simple things in life, appreciate and embrace them, for they are precious; that you have them is extraordinary.

Feb 3, 2010